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How to communicate properly with your ex during and after divorce

On Behalf of | Oct 21, 2022 | Divorce

Divorce is often a difficult process in Texas, but the way you communicate with your soon-to-be ex can make or break the process. There are many issues that you may need to address during a divorce, such as child custody, visitation schedules, division of property and spousal support. Communicating effectively will help you come to a resolution that works for everyone.

Be friendly and empathetic

It’s important to remember that you are going through a tough time, and so is your spouse. Be respectful and try to see things from their perspective. You should also avoid getting defensive, as this will only make the situation worse.

Make it brief and regular

Keep your communication short and to the point. If you need to discuss something important concerning your divorce, schedule a time to talk so that both of you can be prepared. You should also try to communicate on a regular basis, even if it’s just to check in and see how things are going. For instance, you could set up a weekly phone call or send a daily text message.

Avoid using “you” statements

When you start a sentence with “You always…” or “You never…,” it can easily make your spouse defensive and less likely to listen to what you have to say. Instead, focus on how you feel and use “I” statements. For example, “I feel like we never talk anymore. I’d like to schedule a time to chat each week.”

Avoid using blame

No one likes to be blamed, and it will only make your spouse defensive. For instance, if you’re dealing with child custody, avoid saying something like, “You’re never home, so I should get the kids more.” Instead, try to focus on what you both want and how you can make it work.

You may not always get what you want in a divorce, but communicating effectively will help you come to a resolution that works for everyone. Ideally, you want to be able to maintain a friendly relationship with your ex, especially if you have children together.